Leadership Courage
Leadership Courage
In a recent column, Robert J. Samuelson defined leadership as “the capacity to take people where they need to go – whether or not they realize it.” Samuelson’s quote was in the context of the great fiscal debate taking place in the United States. In my mind, the key phrase in his definition is “need to go” as distinct from “want to go.” This is why leadership courage is vital.
To take people, and in this case the country as well, where they need to go requires having a clear vision of the new future one wants to create as well as a recognition of realistic constraints. It also requires putting the greater good and long-term needs ahead of personal or political interests and short-term expediency. Sometimes the choices are painful and difficult to make, especially when entrenched interests or political bases will be ruffled. Self-interests that are met at the expense of the greater good, or sacrifice future benefits of others, need to be set aside or placed in conext. When they are not, parochial interests end up trumping the overall good.
The other critical element is intellectual honesty on all sides of the debate. False leadership is often riddled with half-truths and use of selected facts that paint a distorted picture. Or making gross exaggerations, demonizing opponents, and employing scare tactics. Often these are about taking certain groups or constituencies where they want go rather than where the country needs to go. These tactics have no place in rational debate and decision making. They only polarize and weaken necessary partnerships critical for achieving desired ends.
Courageous leadership requires telling hard truths accurately, fully, and objectively. Then logically evaluating and interpreting the most complete set of data possible to form honest conclusions and develop systemic solutions.
These principles apply not only to political leadership, but to business, organizational, and individual leadership as well. On a personal level, are you leading yourself where you need to go? What are you doing to take on the hard challenges of building a better life and brighter future – not just for yourself but for those in your family, future generations, organization or company, and community? Are you placing the greater good ahead of personal gain or to preserve your status quo?
Are you demonstrating leadership courage to take others “where they need to go – whether or not they realize it.” How courageously are you leading yourself?
Steve Weitzenkorn
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Copyright © 2011, F3 Forum LLC. All rights reserved.
The Rhythm of Inspiration
The Rhythm of Inspiration
Life never fails to inspire me. No matter what might be going on in my day or week, I invariably come in touch with something so remarkable that I am lifted from whatever thought or experience I am having, into joy and amazement at the versatility, creativity and care of human beings.
Today I learned of a man, Rick Willett, who is a percussionist. A number of years ago he became involved in body percussion with a performance group called Stomp Dance Troupe. In Colombia, he had occasion to use this technique with Dance for Tolerance, a group addressing children at risk who are dealing with issues of poverty and violence. Working with them he saw their hardened faces change. That was the beginning of Willett using this technique around the world to help children who are trauma victims. He next met with children in Brooklyn’s Bedford Stuyvesant – kids with difficult backgrounds, living amidst drug dealers and addicts. Once again, as they were occupied making rhythms, he saw a change in the children.
A simple rhythm clapped on the knees, pounded out by the feet, complimented by snaps and claps. Sounds easy. Willett’s body music, however, is anything but. Even the simple rhythms he begins with are challenging although he firmly says “anyone can do what I do.”
He teaches a rhythm. When the kids have it, he speeds it up, adding accents and changes. The kids are instantly fully engaged, and for a time, forget about their circumstances.
Willett was on his way to Japan for a project when the earthquake and tsunami hit. He thought he might use his skills with Japanese children to help reduce their stress. While he was in Kamiyama, he was working with some kids and there was an aftershock. Taking one look at their faces, he saw just how much stress they carry around with them beneath the surface. When they started the body percussion again, however, their worry faded. What he saw was a group of kids having fun.
Willett’s hope is to help take the kids’ minds off of their stress. He says he wants to help them recover fun and bring back some childhood back into their lives. While he focuses on the kids’ enjoyment, he also acknowledges that the body percussion enhances teamwork. What he might not be thinking is that for some kids, he may be providing a choice that they never had before, an opportunity to see beyond the circumstances of their everyday lives to possibility.
Thanks, Rick Willett, for doing what you do, and for being such an inspiration.
Robin Damsky
Take the FREE Guiding Values Exercise.
Copyright © 2011, F3 Forum LLC. All rights reserved.
Shaking the Shadow of Our Past
Shaking the Shadow of Our Past
“The shadow of the past holds the future hostage.” I read this line on a poster and it captures in one sentence the problem that prevents many of us from realizing our ambitions and dreams. Our past can be a dead weight that locks us in an unfulfilling present by creating psychological barriers that are difficult to break through. As a result, our future could look very much like our present. In that sense our past may be much more than a dark weightless shadow.
Heavy shadows that stretch into our past and inhibit our growth may include:
- Big mistakes that make us so risk averse that we do not recognize or seize new opportunities, or we talk ourselves out of pursuing them.
- Admonishments from parents, teachers and others that make us feel guilty about succeeding, or that we cannot do it, or that we are unworthy of it.
- Resentments and anger about past slights that disagreements that have destroyed or significantly damaged relationships we once valued.
- Self-talk based on bad past experiences that convinces us we cannot do something.
- Setbacks that occurred from insufficient effort, skill, knowledge, or resources that keep us from trying again or seeking solutions or partners for moving forward successfully.
These are just a few of the shadows of the past that could prevent us from becoming who we would like to be . . . and creating a future that is more fulfilling and invigorating than our present. What are your shadows? Identifying them is the first step to overcoming them. The next step is making a concerted effort to put them into the past and keep them there . . . which is where they belong. Doing this is much harder than it sounds. Here are some keys to achieving it and breaking free:
- Develop a vision of your future. This is as simple as describing in a sentence or two what success looks like for you. Then post it somewhere prominently so you can be continually reminded.
- Identify what you want to be known for – the kind of person you want to be, the values you wish to embody – and then consciously make them a part of your life. The process of creating your future should resemble what you’d like your future to be.
- Breathe the spirit and inner magnificence you possess into the world. Don’t keep them inside. Make them a part of who you are.
- Take the initiative over and over again to make progress. Take reasonable risks and do not fear setbacks. You will have them. They are learning opportunities and help you build a base of experience that will drive future success. Without risks there are no breakthroughs.
- Believe in possibilities, talk incessantly about them, and act to bring them about.
- Make constructive and positive choices for moving forward.
- Build and restore relationships. None of us can succeed solely by ourselves. If past relationships have been problematic, repair them or if they are truly beyond repair, move past them.
- Move from passion to action to fruition. You can only fulfill your vision and purpose through determined action.
What are your shadows? How are they holding your future hostage? How can you unshackle yourself from them to create the future you most desire?
Steve Weitzenkorn
Our book, Find Fulfill Flourish, was won the Pinnacle Book Achievement Award and named a Finalist in the Self Help category of the 2011 Next Generation Indie Book Awards. Ben Bolch of the Los Angeles Times calls it “an inspirational tour de force” Click here to purchase it. Click here for an overview and here for a free sample chapter. Book readers also receive FREE access to all premium exercises and content on our website.
Take the FREE Guiding Values Exercise.
Copyright © 2011, F3 Forum LLC. All rights reserved.
The Liberation of Posting a Confession
This week we have a guest blog, written by Sarah Damsky.
Everyone has secrets, and everyone has confessions. However, most people keep these secrets to themselves because they think that what they have done, experienced, or witnessed is so strange, weird, or uncommon that no one else can relate… This could not be further from the truth. In a Tumblr blog I recently started, people have the ability to anonymously submit and post their confessions, sharing them with the world and helping them to let go of that one little thing they felt like they couldn’t tell anybody.
These confessions have been from as light as: “I still sleep with a teddy-bear,” to as heavy as: “I feel responsible for my parents’ divorce.” What is even more interesting about this phenomenon, however, is the amount of people that “like” or “re-blog” these posts. People who previously thought they had habits or secrets that no one else could relate to are shocked to find out that hundreds of people have been re-blogging and sharing their confession with others. The site not only gives people a safe environment to share those facts that constantly weigh them down, it also gives them a sense of reassurance. It helps them realize that they are not as alone or strange as they really feel that they are, and that maybe sharing these deep thoughts can lead to friendships, and eventually community.
While we might be embarrassed or ashamed by our own secrets and confessions, it is important to remember that we are all human. If we have done it, someone else probably has as well. We all learn from our mistakes, but perhaps by sharing our stories and secrets, (albeit anonymously), we can help others learn from our mistakes and experiences as well.
Repost: When I’m 64 . . .
When I’m 64 . . .
That’s the Beatles song I wanted played at my wedding nearly 26 years ago. 64 is not as old as it seemed then! And it’s magical sharing your life with someone you love, learning from each other, experiencing the joys and facing all the challenges you encounter together.
This song bounces though my brain every once in a while because of both the lyrics and the melody. “When I’m 64” is a about the little pleasures, personal gestures, responsibilities, and simple moments of sharing your life. At first it sounds like it’s just a fun song about being older, and not very profound. When I took a closer at it, I saw significant insights embedded in the words – whether Paul McCartney realized it or not when he wrote the song at age 16:
When I get older losing my hair,
Many years from now,
Will you still be sending me a valentine
Birthday greetings bottle of wine?
If I’d been out till quarter to three
Would you lock the door,
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When I’m sixty-four?
The focus is on the small things that mean a lot, that say “I care” and “I love you . . . flaws and all.” These gestures are important at any age.
I could be handy mending a fuse
When your lights have gone.
You can knit a sweater by the fireside
Sunday mornings go for a ride.
Doing the garden, digging the weeds,
Who could ask for more?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When I’m sixty-four?
These stanzas are about the little things we can do that make life easier for each other, and sharing small joys.
Every summer we can rent a cottage
In the Isle of Wight, if it’s not too dear
We shall scrimp and save
Grandchildren on your knee
Vera, Chuck, and Dave
This one emphasizes the importance of living within our means as well as savoring the simple pleasures of life and helping nurture the newest generation.
Send me a postcard, drop me a line,
Stating point of view.
Indicate precisely what you mean to say
Yours sincerely, Wasting Away.
Give me your answer, fill in a form
Mine for evermore
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When I’m sixty-four?
No matter one’s age or how long you have shared your life, communication and commitment remain essential to making and keeping the bonds healthy.
I have come to believe that it’s the daily thoughtfulness, consideration, and affection that we demonstrate that really make relationships work and joyful. It’s about giving from the heart and receiving with grace and genuine appreciation.
You need not wait until you are 64, if you’re not there already. These principles are universal, they are vital to developing and sustaining meaningful and fulfilling relationships at every age. And relationships are precious.
Steve Weitzenkorn
Our book, Find Fulfill Flourish, was named a Finalist in the Self Help category of the 2011 Next Generation Indie Book Awards. Ben Bolch of the Los Angeles Times calls it “an inspirational tour de force” Click here to purchase it. Click here for an overview and here for a free sample chapter. Book readers also receive FREE access to all premium exercises and content on our website.
Take the FREE Guiding Values Exercise.
Copyright © 2011, F3 Forum LLC. All rights reserved.
Moving Beyond Imagination
Moving Beyond Imagination
Albert Einstein said, “Imagination is more important than knowledge.”
Joseph Joubert said, “He who has imagination without learning, has wings and no feet.”
Imagination can be very powerful and inspire us in exciting and creative ways. As Joseph Joubert suggests, imagination alone is insufficient. It must be coupled with knowledge and skill sets, and I would add action and practice, to truly move us forward. Imagination is the spark. Knowledge and skills form the engine. Action and commitment are the fuels for transforming what we imagine into reality.
Over the years I have worked on innumerable projects in which my ideas and imagination formulated the concepts I wanted to bring to life. My experience and the experience of many others bears out the truth behind Thomas Edison’s famous quote, “Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration.” Like most of us, I am far from being a genius. Once I have an idea, I know it is perspiration and persistence that leads to success and fulfilling posibilities. Inspiration and imagination are the sparks.
Imagination or inspiration coupled with knowledge, skills and action are what truly make a difference. Too many great ideas have had wings but never went anywhere and never landed for lack of expertise and effort. As your imagination soars, apply the expertise you have and seek the expertise you cannot supply yourself, partner with those who can, and begin the work to turn your inspiration and imagination into reality. That’s the key to creating a different future. When you put all that together, then you move beyond imagination and as Albert Einstein also said, “Your imagination is your preview of life’s coming attractions.”
Steve Weitzenkorn
Our book, Find Fulfill Flourish, was named a Finalist in the Self Help category of the 2011 Next Generation Indie Book Awards. Ben Bolch of the Los Angeles Times calls it “an inspirational tour de force” Click here to purchase it. Click here for an overview and here for a free sample chapter. Book readers also receive FREE access to all premium exercises and content on our website.
Take the FREE Guiding Values Exercise.
Copyright © 2011, F3 Forum LLC. All rights reserved.
Like this:
Who Are We Judging?
Who Are We Judging?
It is easy for us to make judgments about people. In fact, it might be so close to us that it almost feels like a skin. Indeed, we must constantly assess the behavior of others to decide a myriad of things, like whether or not they are trustworthy, honest or dependable. What happens, however, when our need to discern begins to expand? When we take our need to assess and have that evolve so that we declare ourselves experts on judging other people’s ideas or religious choices, or begin to make decisions about them based on the style of their clothing or hair, let alone by the color of their skin or their ethnicity. Are we using our ability to make distinctions to its best end, or has it run away with us?
I was in a class once with a teacher who taught me to make a fist and point a finger at someone and declare a judgment about that person; an assessment that would diminish this person’s standing in my eyes, or that would cause me to distance myself from that person. I was asked to look down at my hand and notice that three fingers of my fist – or maybe even four, if you want to count the thumb – were pointing right back at me. My teacher was expressing that it is quite common that when we are pointing out something in another that we don’t like or we think should be better or different, that we are really pointing to a quality or trait in ourselves; one that we don’t like. It is so much easier to point our finger at another than it is to acknowledge our own weakness or vulnerability.
Next each of the students was to ask ourselves if we might possess the very same characteristics or engage in the same behaviors as those we were negatively judging in others. If the answer was yes, we were asked to restate our remarks in the first person, with the caveat that we were to add compassion for ourselves for having this vulnerability or trait. We then were asked to re-approach the person we judged with this new-found knowledge about ourselves, and see if there would be a difference in the way we addressed them. In every single situation, the interactions were much more kind, with a level of accountability that was previously not present. In some situations, nothing was said at all, because the speaker realized that there was no longer anything to judge. In this process we began to take responsibility for our less desirable behaviors by telling the truth about them, taking action to better ourselves in those arenas and in having greater compassion for our own weaknesses as well as the imperfections and vulnerabilities of others.
The world is filled with people and behaviors that can potentially grate on us and cause us to become judges of someone’s character. It is easy to point a finger, essentially saying that we are better, we know better, we do better. It is much more challenging, and ultimately much more rewarding, to take a deep look at our own humanity and compassionately and rigorously work to improve it, and then direct our insights to accept the differences of others beyond our reach, and work with those who are willing to kindly coach them into a better version of themselves.
Robin Damsky
Take the FREE Guiding Values Exercise.
Copyright © 2011, F3 Forum LLC. All rights reserved.
My First Big “Growing Up” Experience
My First Big “Growing Up” Experience
When I started sixth grade, I signed up to be a future paperboy for the Pittsburgh Press, the afternoon newspaper. (It ceased publication in 1991 and was folded into the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.) I expected to get the route in two years when the current paperboy, David Sales, would be ready to move on to something else. David just started high school and began delivering papers that September. His parents and mine were friends. Then tragedy struck. David had an epileptic attack in the high school swimming pool and drowned. It was a very sad day for our neighborhood. A day I’ll never forget.
The route manager for the Pittsburgh Press now had an unexpected problem. As saddened as he was about David’s death, he also had to find someone to deliver the papers. He learned of the tragedy when he was unloading the bundles of papers at David’s house. He threw them back in the truck and drove to our house. I was considered too young to be a paperboy but he had no other choice at that moment.
Without any training or time to prepare, I started my first real job on a moment’s notice. I was given seventy-six papers to deliver and a ring of receipt stubs with names and addresses. I loaded the papers into a wagon and a satchel and set out. It took me over two hours to deliver the papers, an hour longer than normal since I was figuring things out as I went. Plus I began nearly an hour late because of the circumstances.
So customers were complaining my first day on the route. “Where have you been?” “Why is the paper so late?” “The paper should have been here two hours ago!” Then when I took a minute to explain, I was even later for the next customer. In the end, customers were understanding and sympathetic.
I got better and faster at delivering the paper over the next week, which turned out to be quite rainy. Then I had to go around to each house and collect money for the prior week’s paper. Most people paid weekly. Some paid every two weeks. One paid monthly. And several were a few weeks in arrears. Collection time was also complaint and special request time. Mrs. Brown wanted her paper under the mat so it would not blow away, as it did earlier in the week, and did not wanted it folded and tossed. Mr. Spanelli’s paper the day before got wet. His house was up two flights of concrete stairs and he instructed me to make sure the paper was placed at least three feet from the edge of his porch so it would stay dry when it rained or snowed. Mrs. Jackson wanted her paper in the milk box which meant I couldn’t toss it from the curb and had to walk up several steps to her porch. Mr. Anderson wanted his paper inside his storm door and he promised me a 25 cent weekly tip if I did. In 1962, that was worth it.
Tips were how customers told me in tangible terms if I was doing a good job. Most gave me a dime and considered it generous. Christmas tips were the best. I knew how well I was doing by the money left over after I paid the route manager the “wholesale” cost of the paper. The daily paper cost 7 cents in those days. The Sunday paper was a quarter. So from most customers I was collecting 55 cents a week. I needed to collect about $50 and then pay the route manager about $34 and I made $16 plus about $7 in tips if everyone paid. The job required about 14 hours per week, so I was earning roughly $1.65 an hour.
The best news is that I gained a lot more from the experience. I learned many things that have helped me throughout my life and career:
- I had to set priorities . . . which meant I had to stop playing with friends when the paper truck showed up at 4:30.
- I had to take care of customers and honor their special requests – tips depended on it.
- I needed to have “get up and go”— that was a choice I had to make every day – rain, shine, snow or freezing temperatures.
- I learned how to increase my efficiency and quality of service
- I learned how to handle and keep track of money. It was a tutorial in business finance on a small scale.
Most of all, I learned how to take responsibility. As a parent and manager, I realize that people become more responsible when you give them responsibility. That’s also a lesson for me . . . and I understand that when I stretch myself and take on greater responsibility and a meaningful purpose, I grow as a person and accomplish more.
Steve Weitzenkorn
Take the FREE Guiding Values Exercise.
Copyright © 2011, F3 Forum LLC. All rights reserved.
Tents and Dwelling Places
Tents and Dwelling Places
I was reading a text from the Torah (some know this text as the Old Testament) this week that inspired a question in me. It was about how we walk through life. The text was comparing a tent – a temporary structure – to a dwelling place, one that is more permanent. It made me wonder about two potential approaches to life: one in which one views everything as somewhat temporary; the other in which one walks in a more rooted fashion.
We often hear of people who fear commitment. This usually manifests itself in the relationship arena, but a temporary approach to things does not only have to appear with regard to relationships. There are many who float through life, moving from job to job or place to place with no real grounding. While travel and experience are important ingredients in self development and fulfillment, it seems that the temporary person has not chosen to invest; that this person lacks a guiding system or purpose.
In contrast, the individual who walks through life as a dwelling place seeks out ways to cultivate one’s location, one’s relationships and one’s activities toward an end: to advance or realize a vision. This person has a commitment to a goal or a way of life, something that causes him or her to be planted within the earth and therefore, to be steadily growing stronger.
Would you characterize yourself as a tent or a permanent dwelling place? Are you floating or are you grounded? Are you satisfied with your observation?
What is it that helps you to stand upright? Is it a purpose or a set of values? Perhaps it is an individual. Whatever your anchor, I invite you to grab hold and dig in for a more fulfilling life.
Robin Damsky
Copyright © 2010 F3 Forum, LLC. All rights reserved.
Repost: Thought: The Source of All
Thought: The Source of All:
If you google “power of speech” you will find articles from every faith: Jewish, Hindu, and Christian teachings are in the top ten responses. Each of these traditions recognizes that what we speak has power. Speech has the power to heal or to hurt; the power to create or to destroy. These teachings are often focused on the effect that our words have on others—a very important aspect of speech. We may overlook, however, that the words we speak also have an effect on ourselves. When we speak with affirmative commitment to our goals and actions and speak of ourselves with respect, the effects are that we are forwarding our personal journey and enhancing our self-esteem. Alternately, we may limit ourselves and our successes by the things we say about ourselves and our potential. These words may contribute to a feeling of lack of power or self-worth. Speech is one of our most powerful tools.
Our speech is predicated by our thoughts. It is likely that you have heard of the power of positive thinking. Norman Vincent Peale’s book by this name has sold over seven million copies. A faith-based book, Peale addresses such issues as believing in yourself and creating your own power. One chapter in his book is titled: “Inflow of new thoughts can remake you.” Have you ever wanted to remake yourself? You can look at dozens of reality shows that offer a physical makeover to your look and style, even to your home. What about giving yourself a makeover not on the physical but on the intellectual, psychological, emotional, spiritual or professional plane?
Peale quotes William James, who said, “The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.” These words are accurate not just for James’ generation, but for ours as well. How do we do this? Peale suggests, “Fill your mind with fresh, new creative thoughts of faith, love and goodness. By this process, you can actually remake your life.”
It’s that simple. Paying close attention to our thoughts, we will see where they lead us. If we want to remake ourselves, we can choose – at any moment – to think new and different thoughts. Different thoughts will get us different results. Consciously replacing our uncertain, negative or self-deprecating thoughts with thoughts of affirmation and positive action, with “creative thoughts of faith, love and goodness,” will begin to transform our thinking process and spill over to our speech. The two combined will then in turn affect our actions. The result will be a constructive change in one’s own life that ripples out to the work we do in the world and into the lives of those we touch.
May your day be filled with constructive, creative and loving thoughts.
Robin Damsky
Robin Damsky is the rabbi of West Suburban Temple Har Zion in River Forest, Illinois, and co-author of Find-Fulfill-Flourish: Discover Your Purpose with LifePath GPS – a book, tool kit, and workshop series focused on guiding people toward more meaningful and fulfilling lives.
Copyright © 2010 F3 Forum, LLC. All rights reserved.
